


Rain Inside and Out

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-06
Updated: 2006-01-31
Packaged: 2019-01-19 14:38:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12412221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Start off new, take a girl, bring in a guy. Add a pinch of fire, a smidgen of enmity, a dash of disgust, a glimpse of chemistry, a splash of exasperation, a soupcon of obstinacy and a touch of denial. Get ready for the overly-dramatic story of Lily Evans and James Potter.





	1. Leaving Home

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

Rain Inside and Out

Summary : start off new, take a girl, bring in a guy. Add a pinch of fire, a smidgen of enmity, a dash of disgust, a glimpse of chemistry, a splash of exasperation, a soupcon of obstinacy and a touch of denial. Get ready for the overly-dramatic story of Lily Evans and James Potter.

 

Chapter 1 : Leaving home

“I can’t believe this. This. Is. Un-be-lie-va-ble.”� I gasped as I read my Hogwarts letter for the third time. There could have been many reasons for my shocked expression, such as the fact that I had just found out I was to be Head Girl during the next school year, or that I finally realized that it would my last and final year at Hogwarts. But no. I had always worked real hard in order to one day obtain that shiny red and gold Head badge and at the end of my sixth year, it didn’t seem as though I wouldn’t get it. The reality that my school years would soon be over wasn’t the cause of my surprise either— the teachers had practically forgotten to teach us anything in their intentions to blab on unlimitedly about our seventh year during our sixth about how exceptionally important NEWTS were, so I wasn’t about to forget those in some time. No, the reason for my astonishment was none other than the identity of the Head Boy, someone I’d be working with constantly. Someone I had well grown to hate over the past six years. I just couldn’t help but keep asking my overly astounded little self who in their right mind would have _ever_ thought of even _mentioning_ James Potter as a future Head Boy.               

_Dear Miss Evans,_ ___I would firstly like to apologize for the delay of this letter. I do hope you’ll get it in time. I wanted to make sure it arrived safely to destination and wasn’t intercepted along the way, what with all the chaos that is the wizarding world at the moment. Secondly, I would like to congratulate you on making Head Girl for your seventh year here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You will find your badge enclosed in this letter. You’ll have important responsibilities this year as I’m sure you already know. You’ll also be working with the Head Boy - James Potter of Gryffindor House. As the list of needed books has already been given to you on the last day of your sixth year due to the insecurity provided by owl post, you’ll see the pointlessness of sending it to you again. The Hogwarts Express will leave from King’s Cross September 1st at 11am on platform 9 3/4 as usual._ ___Yours truly,_ ___Professor Albus Dumbledore_ _Hogwarts Headmaster_ __

Did the greatest wizard alive really _want_ to make my life hell ? Because that was obviously bound to happen.

“Lily, Petunia, breakfast!”� Mom’s cheery voice was heard from one end of the house to the other. It was common knowledge that breakfast in the Evans’ household was to be a “family thing”�, it had always been and I wasn’t one to break tradition so I dropped my letter on the desk and headed downstairs. Unfortunately, I just _had_ to encounter my lovely sister in the hall. Petunia, unlike me, was tall, had a long neck and a piercing gaze that made her look like a buffalo ready to attack. Stepping out of the bathroom, she had wrapped her long, dark hair in a towel on top of her head and was wearing a pair of plain black pants and a pale and faded orange shirt. I was vaguely reminded of Halloween and this sudden reminder of last year’s celebration brought me into having to make tremendous efforts to keep myself from bursting out laughing. 

She looked at me as if I had been the most abominable sort of repulsive insect and snarled, “Get out of the way, freak.”�

“Good morning to you too,”� I answered.

“Don’t talk to me, you weirdo,”� she retorted sourly, making her way back to her room.

“Don’t worry, I won’t bother in the future,”� I said with a laugh. Her reactions were just so pitiful and ridiculous sometimes. A voice in my head told me Petunia really did mean what she said, but I ignored it. I had been in the same situation for the past six years so why even bother? I ran down the stairs to the kitchen to find my parents sitting at the table.“Morning hon,”� my mother said as she poured herself some coffee.

“Morning Lily,”� my father added.

“Morning, guess who was made Head Girl?”� I asked excitedly.

“Roxy?”� Dad guessed.

“Ryan!”� Mom said in exasperation, now scanning over the headlines of the _Daily Prophet_. 

“I’m just kidding, congratulations!”� he exclaimed as he came over to give mea hug.

“I knew you’d get it, I’m so proud of you!”� my mother squealed.

“Yay, let’s all be happy for freaky Lily who just got named a super freak at her freak school!”� Petunia cried sneeringly as she entered the room. She had gotten rid of the towel on her head, not that she looked much better without it.

“For the last time, your sister is not a freak, she’s a witch!”� Dad said sharply as he offered me some toast. I took it, to Petunia’s disgust and jealousy at not being offered any.

“Same thing,”� she said taking a seat next to our mom.

“Dear, would you please be nice to your sister? It’s her last day at home and you won’t be seeing her for four months!”� my mother asked patiently.

“Good riddance!”� she exclaimed.

“Petunia!”� Dad shouted, “Chloe, we have to do something!”�

“Whatever, can you drive me to Carrie’s, Mom?”� the nineteen-year-old asked, with an innocence that didn't suit her.

“Honey… didn’t you see her just yesterday?”� Chloe argued.

“But Mom!”� 

“Anyway, I’m taking Lily to the station. Why don’t you take the bus?”� Mom suggested.

“Funny, you don’t tell Lily to take the bus,”� she noted bitterly. 

“You stop those arrogant remarks right now young lady!”� Dad said seriously.

“ _Why_ am I the only one who sees that eccentric freak for what she really is?! She’s all you care about, _Lily_ this and _Lily_ that. Well I’m your daughter too you, you know! You seem to have forgotten that _I’m_ actually normal! That _abnormality_ I have the misfortune to call my relative is a disgrace to this whole family and you’re both absolutely blind to it! ”�

She’d been speaking in pure hatred and envy and I knew it. But not oncedid she say a single word to my face and _that_ I couldn’t overlook. I hadtried to be civil to my bloody sister for two months, but now she had gone too far. She was not going to ruin my last day at home.

“I’ve had just about enough of this,”� I said disgusted. I took out my wand and pointed it straight at Petunia. 

“You can’t use that — that _thing_ outside of school.”� she said acting confident, although she didn’t sound so sure of herself. The triumphant look she had tried to paste on her bony face was giving her away miserably. Of course, I noticed.

“It’s called a wand, my dear, and students seventeen and older can use it anytime,”� I gave her a horribly sweet smile.Petunia turned livid. She had lost all glorious expression on her face, which amused me.

“Don’t point it at me!”� she shrieked.

“You know, after having to bear with the Marauders for six long years, I dare say I know some pretty good hexes,”� I informed my sister smartly, “I can turn your hair blue, enlarge your teeth or even make you talk backwards for the next two days.”�

“You wouldn’t dare,”� Petunia said in a hushed, frightened voice.

I laughed.“ _Accio_ _orange juice!_ ”� I shouted. Petunia screamed and ran out of the room covering her head with her hands. In the meantime, the glass of orange juice that had been in front of her and that I had been pointing at, zoomed into the air and landed in my hand.

“I told you not to tell her you could do magic outside of school,”� Dad sighed.

“I know but it’s my last day here and she wasn’t about to ruin it - she was seriously getting on my nerves,”� I replied casually between two gulps of juice.

“Alright, we’re leaving in ten minutes, get your trunk downstairs now that… you can,”� Mom said with a half amused, half exasperated tone in her voice.               

So I walked back upstairs, finished packing my trunk and checked if I hadn’t neglected anything. Surely enough, my eyes landed on my desk, where my Hogwarts letter lay forgotten. I picked it up, reread it once more and the joy from Petunia’s delusional attitude disappeared instantly. Another year with Potter -because that’s what I called him- and he called me Evans. I had never heard him use my first name and doubted if he even knew it since his only preoccupations in life seemed to be snogging girls and planning pranks (against the Slytherins most of the time). I don’t think he knew half the names of the bimbos he ever went out with anyway. So he was just Potter to me. Arrogant—conceited—egoistical-Potter : the infamous Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, best student in the school (except for me that is) who got all Os in his OWLs without studying much and grand member of the Marauders which consisted of himself, Sirius Black, another detention-magnet, Remus Lupin, a master of mischief who half-hid behind the disguise of a rather sweet and smart person, and Peter Pettigrew, a short, blond, shy boy who you could actually get a pretty good laugh from if you got to know him. But nevertheless, he was different from the other three and it was still a mystery to the whole school how he had joined the other Marauders in the first place but no one dared ask them about it for risk of being cursed into oblivion, something Potter and Black especially exceeded at. Anyway, Potter was sure not to follow his Head responsibilities; he always had this thing against school rules and there was no telling what kind of messed up ideas he’d come up with during Head meetings. If there was _one_ person I couldn’t stand, it was him. Potter all in all, sun and rain, fire and ice, night and day …. was a living hell.                

Worse thing was, he probably just “ _fell in love_ ”� with the idea that he’d be working, if you can call it work, with me all year. Ever since fifth year, he hadn’t stopped asking me out, hell only knows why.                

Actually, I knew why. You didn’t have to be Einstein to be able to identify Potter as the biggest player ever alive. He wasn’t one to give up easily on anything and I had always refused to go on a single date with him. I suspected I was just about the only one, excepting exceptions of course. Every other girl couldn’t resist his charming smile that made them melt and his messy hair that made him look so goddamn hot… did I just call him hot?… God, I’m becoming like Petunia. Ok… so he _is_ good-looking. No denying it. Whatever. I was not attracted to the toerag anyway; I’d have married a Hippogriff before I went out with Potter. So every week ever since fifth year he had asked me out, and every week, I turned him down. He was so annoying. He could have any girl he wanted, why did he bother with me? Didn’t he see that it wasn’t getting him anywhere?        

So I wasn’t the only one in the school he hadn’t gone out with. Thank God, my best friends Adriane and Roxy hadn’t either. Even if they didn’t go out with any of them, they still liked the Marauders. It was obvious Roxy had something for Black although what she found in him was still a mystery to me. Was I the only one to see him for the show off he really was? But she had never asked him out, for fear of rejection. I didn’t think he would have rejected her when she asked him out, rather when he decided he’d rather snog someone else, which probably would have been a week later and I could not have let that happen to my best friend. I would have committed murder if that day ever came. Roxy would not turn out like another “Marauder addict”�. Adriane was more of the psychology type of girl and got on quite well with Remus, but she was currently going out with a seventh year Ravenclaw and didn’t consider him more than a friend. Thank Merlin.

“Lily, you ready?”� I heard my father call from downstairs.

“Coming!”� I replied. I took one last look at the piece of parchment before stuffing it inside my trunk, which I bewitched with a simple _locomotor_ spell. It rose about a meter into the air and, being directed by my wand, flew down the stairs. My parents were in the entrance hall, smiling at my charm work: they had rarely seen me do magic, just when my sister wasn’t around.

“Petunia, would you come down -”� my mother started to call but I knew it was no use.

“Forget it mom, I’m used to it,”� I interjected before she had finished her sentence. My parents sighed forlornly: they had always regretted Petunia’s attitude towards me ever since we all learned I was a witch six years ago. My sister and I had been the best of friends before that; we never did one thing without the other. But then almost overnight she rejected me, considering me an enemy, a freak of nature and she never showed affection towards me ever since. I wrote her dozens of letters during my first and second years at Hogwarts, but never got a reply. I gave up after that, not bothering to try and convince her I was still the same. I had a feeling that however hard I tried, she would never understand, and that left a bruise in my heart I knew would never heal, like the emptiness you endure when you love someone who doesn’t love you back. 

I walked outside to the front yard, felt the sweet smell of my mother’s roses invade my senses and drove away, leaving my house, my home, ignorant of the fact that I would never look at it the same way ever again.


	2. Catching Atmosphere

Rain Inside and Out

Chapter 2 : Catching atmosphere

There is such sad love deep in your eyes

The pain you must feel makes me want to cry

I see but nothing a darkened gaze

The tears deep down over your eyes they glaze

I see no smile I wish to help

But after a while your pain is not felt

You don't run to me you run to your shadows

You keep to yourself like it’s all that matters

You can run and run but your pain can't hide 

All I can see is what you feel on the inside 

You do not show it, you act as if all’s ok 

But I know someday that you'll see it won’t go away

                                               - _Such Sad Love_ , Elizabeth Vornbrock

 

We arrived early at King's Cross as usual, 10h30 that is. Dad circled the neighborhood for what seemed like hours, looking for a parking space then decided to drop Mom and me off in front of the station, so I wouldn't miss my train. He said he'd meet up with us later on the platform. The sky was heavy with clouds, the air suffocating with the late summer heat but the world kept turning round, although you could have had reasons to doubt.

"Lily…  I want you to have this." My mother said taking a bracelet off her wrist, once we were on the sidewalk.

"Mom, you know I can't accept it!" I exclaimed, taking a step backwards. This piece of jewelry was one of the most precious my mother owned: a bracelet of tiny red roses connected by a silver chain. It was simply beautiful and had been in her family for generations. The tradition was to pass it on from mother to daughter.

" Please, take it with you, " my mother begged.

" I don't want it, you make it sound like…like…" 

" It could happen Lily and I don't want Petunia to inherit of it if it does, " she whispered pulling me into a hug, " I don't have anything against your sister, but… it's _you_ it has to belong to now. "

" Mom… " I gasped. My heart sank terribly low. I knew what this meant, but it didn’t mean I was accepting it. My mother pulled away from the hug, took my arm and enclosed the bracelet on my wrist. It fit perfectly.

" You're going to do fabulously, honey, " she said smiling her most charming smile. I laughed slightly. This was my Mom : always optimistic, always truthful, always caring. No wonder my dad fell in love with her. " You're the best daughter I could have ever asked for. " 

I sighed. " Why are you doing this? " 

" Because it has to be done, I want you to hear it from me. Now let's get on that platform otherwise you'll miss your train! " She answered swiftly. I followed her inside the station, where the crowd was thicker than Petunia's waffle mix (and that was saying something). We made our way through the building and managed to reach platform 9 and 10 ten minutes later. We were soon joined by my dad who was pushing a trolley with my trunk on top of it.

" Shall we go, then ? " he asked excitedly. My dad had always loved to do this, being a Muggle. Magic had always fascinated him. I took the trolley and headed for the barrier between platform 9 and 10. I began running and was soon by the gleaming scarlet steam engine that was the Hogwarts Express.

" Missed me, darling ? " a voice called from behind me. I spun around to see one of my best friends Roxy Strider, walking ever-so-stylishly towards me, her shoulder-length wavy brown hair streaming in the wind. I laughed at her little act; she sure wasn't one to bring attention to her. She was wearing her carefree, infectiously wicked smile that day. A smile which lit up her eyes the color of mahogany with the same radiant effect as the sunlight reflecting on beads of water set on dewy morning roses. I hugged her tight when she came; I had missed her so much during the summer. We hadn't been catching up on these past two months for a mere five minutes when my dad came over to tell us we were almost the only ones on the platform left.

" See you at Christmas, Lily, " he said.

" Have a good term, " my Mom added. I hugged them both and heard her whisper " I love you, Lily, " in my ear as we did.

" I love you too, " I said before we broke apart. I smiled at both of them and got onto the train with Roxy. We left moments later and tried to find a compartment. Of course, that was Mission Impossible since we were almost the last ones to have gotten on the train. Finding an empty compartment was like trying to find a needle in a hay stack.

" Roxy, Lily, over here ! " someone called. Adriane Cloepfil, my other best friend in the world, was waving ridiculously at us from a compartment up ahead, making huge movements with her arms and smiling like a lunatic. I could see that she hadn’t changed one bit over the summer. Adriane paid no real attention to her appearance. Rebellious strands of black hair escaped her messily-tied ponytail; her eyes were a deep brown color without a touch a makeup. I waved back and entered the compartment, eager to hear her summer adventures when I realized we weren't alone.

" Hell no Adriane, I am _not_ \- ? " I started telling her.

" Nice to see you too, " Potter interrupted smiling the one-famous-grin he knew I despised with one hell of a passion.

" Let's go, " I said heading back.

" You know there's no space anywhere else, we must have searched the whole train twice, " Roxy said seating herself next to Black. I should have known.

" Fine, " I said, giving up. I then realized the last two seats were the ones next to Potter. This definitely wasn't my day… 

" So how was your summer, Lils ? " he asked me cheerfully. I groaned.

" Don't call me Lils, Potter and my summer was awful, " I replied.

" Do tell, " Peter said.

" Let's just say I have one hell of a bitchy Muggle sister, but how did your summers go ? " I questioned everyone.

" James and I spent most of it surfing at the beach, I can't remember the name of what it is Remus did and Peter went to Germany, " Black explained.

" I went _skydiving_ Sirius, how many times do I have to tell you ? " Remus exclaimed.

" _No way_ , you went skydiving ?! " I nearly shouted.

" Will somebody explain to dear-old-Padfoot what you're talking about ? " Black asked exasperatingly.

" Basically you get on a plane and jump off of it a couple hundred feet off the ground, " Potter explained.

" Why didn't you tell us ?! " Black asked Remus.

" I _did_ ! " Remus cried. We all laughed.

" How do you know that ? " I asked Potter, surprised.

" Know what ? " he replied.

" Skydiving ! It's a Muggle thing ! " I remarked. 

" There's lots of things about me you don't know, " he grinned. What a jerk.

" Shut up, Potter, " I snapped.

" So Lils - "

" Call me that again and I swear I'll hex you so badly you won't dare walk out of the hospital wing for months considering the deliberate damage I'll have a pleasure to inflict to your egocentric being, " I declared dangerously. For the shortest second in history he seemed to have taken it personally, but that thought left my mind the moment it had crossed it.

" _Lily_ then, I heard you made Head Girl, congratulations! " He said and actually seemed to mean it.

" You made Head Girl ? And you didn't tell us ?! " Adriane exclaimed half pleased, half disapproving. 

" I just found out this morning ! " I retorted.

" You could have told us earlier anyway, " Roxy noted.

" I guess I… forgot, " I answered truthfully. What my Mom had said had totally gotten the subject off my mind. 

" Well, you go girl ! " Adriane cried out. That's when I remembered my letter and the disturbing news it contained. I looked at Potter, who was casually leaning against his seat, grinning mischievously.

" So how did you do it ? " I asked him.

" I didn't, in fact I had no idea it'd happen, " he answered simply.

" My ass, you're gonna tell me you actually got _picked_ ? " I shot.

" Seems like it, " he replied.

" Not that we don't know what you're talking about, but what _are_ you talking about ? " Roxy questioned. 

" James Potter the infamous Hogwarts _git_ … is Head Boy, " I sighed.

" Seriously ? " Adriane demanded him, stunned.

" Is it _that_ hard to believe ? " he asked.

" Well you're not exactly the one we thought Dumbledore would have chosen is all. I mean, I could have bet your life it'd have been Remus instead of you, " Black explained. 

" That's nice, " Potter retorted sardonically.

" Truth hurts, doesn't it ? " Black laughed.

As I started telling Roxy about my trip to Scotland while Adriane pursued the skydiving conversation with Remus, the surroundings outside were changing dramatically : hills and endless prairies I'd never seen in a single muggle geography book quickly replaced the London suburban streets of lined, square houses. Finally, Potter looked at his watch, got up and motioned for me to follow him. When I didn't and looked at him weirdly ( he would probably take me outside to ask me out, I had wondered why he hadn't done it earlier ), he laughed :

" Come on Lils, we got a Head meeting with the Prefects. " Great. _He_ of all people had remembered while I had completely forgotten. Just great. I left the compartment and followed Potter to the Prefect ones. Once we had arrived there, we basically told the fifth years to watch over the situation in the train, some brief introduction to the responsibilities they were to have during the school year and left. Surprising thing was, I barely said anything. Potter wasn't irresponsible in anything he said, which was definitely strange. He was clear and had authority. Had he finally changed? No… I was imagining things. How could Potter, _the_ prankster at Hogwarts start following school rules? We went back to the compartment and found another girl there, which I recognized as Roxy's sister, having met her a few times. She was pretty tall for her age, had her beautiful blond hair up in a ponytail and metallic glasses in front of her dark blue eyes that didn't make her look like a nerd at all. On the contrary, they gave her a smart, slightly seductive look.

" Hey Gin, " I said.

" Hey Lily, " she replied.

" I'm James, " Potter introduced himself politely. What the hell ? Since when did Potter + politeness = logic ? 

" Nice to meet you, I'm Gin, Roxy's sister, " she answered joyfully. Potter nodded. She was starting her first year at Hogwarts and Roxy was almost more excited than her sister about it.

" So once you're sorted into Gryffindor, " she told her for what looked like the thousandth time judging from the long-suffering look Gin was giving me, " I'll be able to help you with homework and we'll be spending so much time together and we better make the most of it since I'm not going to be here next year and I've barely seen you for the past 6 years anyway… " 

To Roxy, the assumption that Gin would be sorted into our house was simply the most obvious thing in the world and she would _not_ let anyone else tell her otherwise. She had always said Gin would be a Gryffindor, just like her, and that was it.

The train ride continued as usual, Peter beating a depressed-looking Sirius at Exploding Snap and Adriane giving Remus a hard time during a wizard chess game. Roxy and Gin told me about the things they had seen in Japan, while Potter stayed quiet, a word I highly suspected to be nonexistent in his vocabulary. It wasn't until Roxy, who was seated opposite me grinned for no substantial reason that I realized he had been staring at me for I-wasn't-sure-how-long.

" What are you staring at ? " I shot sourly.

" Isn't it obvious ? " he grinned. I rolled my eyes. Thankfully, the train started slowing down : we were almost there.

" Did anybody else forget to put on their school robes ? " I asked. Indeed, everyone in the compartment was still in their normal cloths. 

" You can change here ladies, " Black smiled mischievously. 

" I think we'll pass on the offer, Sirius, " Roxy retorted before following the rest of the girls outside. We took turns using the bathroom to change into our robes, not exactly planning on doing so in the middle of the corridors. The train stopped shortly after we had finished and we descended from it to meet the cool early-autumn breeze that hung in the air. Gin joined the other first years who would cross the lake by boat while Roxy, Adriane and I headed down the muddy path that lead to the carriages with the rest of the students. We found an empty one and seated ourselves inside. It was a few moments later that the door to the carriage swung open and as if they couldn't possibly leave us girls for more than a few minutes and live to tell the tale, Potter and Black asked to join us, for Remus and Peter had already filled another carriage with some Ravenclaws, or so they said.

" Sure ! " Roxy responded enthusiastically. Why me ?… 

The carriage headed down the path and no one uttered a word. It began to rain slowly and still, we were silent. After a minute or so, the rain was pouring like mad and I realized we'd all be soaked by the time we reached the Great Hall. I felt the carriage beginning to slow down and soon enough, it had arrived in front of the castle. Black went out first, then Roxy, followed by Adriane who was just in front of Potter. I went out last, nearly slipping on the last step, but catching myself just in time. The first autumn rain felt incensed and harsh against my skin, like each drop sliding off my face was as a razor sharp blade. I closed the carriage door behind me and just then realized the thickness of the mist. I couldn’t see past ten feet in front of me. I fumbled for my wand in one pocket, in another — when a hand seized my arm. A shot of panic ran through my body, as I spun around, terrified of what I might see. It was Potter. An exasperated sigh escaped me, quickly concealing my surprise at finding relief in seeing him, of all people, at that very moment. 

" Let go of me, " I hissed. But he refused to. He was just holding my arm firmly, forcing me to face him. The icy rain was drenching us to our skins, yet he didn't seem to care. I looked up annoyed, to repeat myself more forcefully, but instantly realized my mistake. His hazel eyes had something overwhelming about them. A certain spark, a trace of brilliance could be seen in them under any circumstance. Though I wasn't sure why, I felt completely trapped in them. Thunder struck. Why didn’t we take notice of it? Strangely, I was under the impression that nothing could harm me. He was just admiring me, yet there was neither grin nor smile playing on his lips. He seemed distant, beyond words. I couldn’t help but notice how his wet hair fell so alluringly into his eyes. Our faces, suddenly, reached a closeness never attained before then. I forgot the wind, the rain, the thunder. 

" Lily, " he said in a low whisper, not breaking eye contact. 

" James, " I replied so softly my voice was no louder than the falling of raindrops onto our faces. I was lost in thought, lost for words. Yet the sound of his voice, as enchanting as it was, had awoken something in me that made me break out of my trance. I had called him James… The rain suddenly went back to feeling like a fluid blizzard : we were going to freeze to death. Since he wasn't letting me go, I did the first and only thing I could think of.

" Lily ! " Potter exclaimed unbelieving, as he brought a hand to his cheek that I guessed was turning red rather quickly. I broke free from his grip and started walking away, my lightened wand leading the way.

" What the _hell_ did you do that for ? " he shouted sounding disappointed more than anything else. I spun around.

" You wouldn't let go of me… " I called, " but thanks anyway. "

" For what ? " he asked perplexed.

" Coming back for me, " I replied casually before leaving him stranded in front of the castle. Merlin, could this day have gotten any weirder?

***

She hurried through the enormous doors of the school. I stayed under the freezing rain and I couldn't have cared less about its existence. My inner emotions were so much stronger than the ones I felt on the outside. She was the only one who could leave me this lost, this confused. I looked back at what had just happened. How could she have discontinued it? The feeling we shared… a feeling I knew I would never experience with anyone else. She was driving me utterly crazy…


	3. Slytherin Newcomer

Rain inside and out

A/N : Read the poem people. It takes a minute. 

I love you too much to let you go, 

I know I have no power over which way the river flows.  

You were supposed to be here beside me, 

Not with them where death equals glee.

When they said you would be away and take a different path

I knew it would call come down to death and wrath. 

I'll always love you and I hope you will love me too 

But until you’re not with them I can’t believe anything’s true

_\- Elizabeth Vornbrock_

Chapter 3 : Slytherin Newcomer

 

I entered the Great Hall after drying myself. It was decorated majestically as usual: hundreds of candles hung in mid air illuminating the hall, while the light they provided was reflected in the gleaming silverware on the four house tables. I decided to forget whatever it was that had happened with James… James? Since when did I call him James? Honestly Lily, get a grip… Anyway, I sat down at the Gryffindor table next with Adriane and Roxy. Potter joined the Marauders further down the table, which felt pretty strange- they had always been next to us during every start-of-term feast ever since first year ( first year by coincidence, and it just became a sort of tradition for them after that ). Not that I minded their absence: Potter's arrogance had never been welcome.

“What took you so long?" Roxy asked me.

“Nothing, " I replied absently. 

“Seriously, what happened with James?”� Adriane prodded. I turned to look at her. Could she have possibly read my mind? I couldn't get out of it now.

“I tripped, he caught me, I told him to let me go, he didn't, I slapped him, " I answered as though it were an everyday thing. 

"That's it?" Roxy questioned.

"Nothing else?" Adriane added.

"Well… there was this… feeling kind of… thing but it doesn't matter. It means nothing, how could it mean anything? Let's leave it at that, "I said firmly. My friends nodded their agreement although I knew they didn't mean it or believe me when I said it meant nothing. Even though I fought hard to convince myself of the truth in my words, I couldn't quite believe of its' existence either; but as I had asked, it was left at that.

As more and more students started filling the empty spaces between students, so did the staff at their table. A troubled Professor Sinistra joined a tired Professor Dumbledore as a young Jenson walked slowly to her seat accompanied by the ghost that was Professor Binns. Soon enough, Professor McGonagall arrived followed by a rather large group of first years. She placed the Sorting Hat on a wooden stool, and to the first years' foreseen surprise, it began to sing.

_“It was centuries ago that_

_Hogwarts' founders came together_

_With a will to teach the young ones_

_Magic to become great sorcerers_

__

_Behind them they left_

_The best school there is today_

_They left me along with it_

_To choose who goes which way_

__

_Every year I sort_

_Sitting on this old stool_

_Into four grand houses_

_The newcomers to this school_

__

_Ravewclaw takes the cleverest_

_Whose mind will take them far_

_While Hufflepuff the honest_

_Whose loyalty is clearly sure_

__

_Gryffindor accepts the bravest_

_For which challenge is an attraction_

_While Slytherin takes the cunning_

_Who come with great ambition_

__

_Dark times are nonetheless ahead_

_And the four must stand together_

_As one school united_

_For soon it won't be over_

__

_Unlike our great founders_

_See past our differences we must_

_For we cannot survive_

_Without compassion and trust_

__

_I shall now tell you_

_In which house you belong_

_It's what I was sown to do_

_And never have I been wrong."_

 

The Great Hall burst into applause as the hat ended his song, although his words just reminded everyone of the terror that reigned all too close to the walls of the school.

"You're requested to sit on the stool and place the hat on your head when I call your name," Professor McGonagall's voice rang throughout the room. She was holding a long piece of parchment and began reading:

"Albee Michael!" A brown haired boy who looked rather tall for his age made his way towards the hat, which shouted a few seconds later:

" Hufflepuff!" Loud cheers erupted at the Hufflepuff table.

"Brown Mariana!" McGonagall continued. This time, a red head came determinedly forward. Unlike the others, she didn't seem nervous in the least, as if she already knew what was going to happen and wasn't afraid to face it. Somehow, I felt a sudden pinch of admiration towards her, like she was someone I could recognize myself in and I was glad to see she was sorted into Gryffindor. The Sorting Ceremony droned on as the new first years were sorted into their houses. I tried talking to Roxy but she hushed me before I could say three words consecutively.

"Wait, my sister's being sorted!" she squealed excitingly. Indeed, the young Gin Strider had placed the hat on top of her head and was waiting for it to say in which house she would be. Roxy was staring avidly at her sister, without blinking as if afraid she'd miss the most memorable moment when her sister would be placed into Gryffindor. To her, that was as obvious as 1+1=2 and she could have bet my life on it. Very luckily, she didn't. 

"Slytherin!" the hat shouted after over a minute. Gin took the hat off her head and looked anxiously at Professor McGonagall as the Slytherins, unknowing, cheered. The teacher looked flabbergasted: Roxy had always been one of her best Transfiguration students and this was not what she had expected… at all.

“Well… go on dear, "she said finally motioning the Slytherin table.

"NO! Something's obviously wrong! My sister can't be a Slytherin, she just _can't_ be!" Roxy shouted, looking desperately at Dumbledore.  She had gotten up and was shaking frantically, as if she had just heard the worst news possible.

"Miss Strider, I know this might seem unusual, but the Sorting Hat decided your sister would do best in Slytherin and I dare say he's never been wrong in sorting anyone," Dumbledore declared solemnly.

"But -" Roxy gasped weakly. She just couldn't understand, she had been so convinced yet… A tear ran down her cheek as she looked at her sister, heartbroken. Gin couldn't believe it either but she made her way towards the Slytherin table when Professor McGonagall announced the next name on her list. I got up and pulled Roxy back down so she wouldn't attract any more attention.

"How can this be?" she whispered, bewildered, as we sat back down.

"I don't know, but it's OK Roxy, it's not -" I tried to comfort her.

"She should be here, sitting right next to me!" she cried, the tears still sliding down her face.

"It'll be all right, I promise you," I replied pulling her into a hug," you'll still see her outside of classes. "

"But _why_ Slytherin, of _all_ houses? Why not Ravenclaw, or even Hufflepuff? Why did she have to be a Slytherin? Why?" Roxy kept asking me, getting angrier by the second.

"Look, it just wasn't meant to be and it's not like she'll become a -" I started but didn't dare finish. Roxy froze completely and faced me. She knew exactly what I meant.

"Oh God, " she gasped," what if she… "

"Roxy, don't even think about it, there is _no_ way Gin will become a Death Eater, you hear me? Get that out of your head!" I commanded. 

"Why would she be in Slytherin then?" Roxy questioned abruptly.

"Not all Slytherins turn out bad, just because most Death Eaters were Slytherins doesn't mean your sister will become one. In fact, there's no chance. She's never had anything against me!" I said sternly.

"Right…" Roxy said. She took a deep breath, wiped her tears and looked over at the Slytherin table where she saw her sister talking to another first year with long black hair. Gin looked up and her gaze met Roxy's, who smiled slightly. She smiled back.

"Well then," Dumbledore called after the Sorting was over, "now that our first years are sorted, we might as well welcome our new older students too."

The entire Great Hall stared at their headmaster, perplexed as he spoke. What new students?

"It's rarely happened at Hogwarts for us to accept students other than first years, but all the same, I'd like you all to welcome a new seventh year, who was sorted into Gryffindor earlier in my office, Kathryn Desner," he declared before clapping and was soon joined by everyone in the Hall, especially by Gryffindors. I looked around to see the new comer. Everyone's eyes were drawn on a rather tall girl with shiny, coal black hair and gray eyes. Something about her made her seem familiar. I felt like I recognized her, knew her, yet I doubted I had ever met her in my life. This Kathryn was smiling at everyone present, but I had the feeling she would rather not. For some reason, she had an expression that said that she hadn't chosen to be here.

"You know her?" Adriane asked me, breaking me out of my trance. I had been staring at the new seventh year for over a minute.

"Who, the new girl? No, never met her," I answered.

"Well, you don't seem to be the only interested. Look at Sirius," Roxy jumped in, glancing in Sirius' direction. Indeed, my enemy's best friend was staring avidly at the new girl.

"Pervert," I concluded, "she's probably on his girls-to-date-and-dump list already."

"I think it's more than that, he never looks at girls that way, no matter how gorgeous they are. It's just not Sirius. Unless…" Adriane started thoughtfully. Roxy and I couldn't stand Adriane's “unless…”� sentences, for they rarely ever ended with an answer. Our dear friend would just stare into space for the longest time and leave without a word.

“Not again,”� Roxy sighed.

"Adriane, unless WHAT?" I questioned importantly. She had been focusing on Sirius who was still focusing on Kathryn before she turned to look at me. Without prevention, she broke into laughter.

"Forget it Lily, we'll never find out," Roxy confirmed my intuition on the subject.

"OK I know this might seem… highly delusional but… love at first sight?" Adriane suggested hesitatingly. I burst into laughter, followed a bit less extravagantly by Roxy. 

"Yeah right! Black fall in love? You've thought the unthinkable!" I said, laughing uproariously.

"Well, he hasn't stopped looking at her for the past three minutes," Roxy noted coldly.

"I don't see why you still bother with him!" I responded.

"Yeah me neither," she replied still eyeing him regretfully. While we had been talking, Dumbledore had started his speech, which we had heard enough times already.

"There are a couple of rules here at Hogwarts that are to be respected and I think it wouldn't be pointless for these rules to be reminded to a couple of our older students as well." I noticed he was looking in the direction of the Marauders who seemed to take it as a compliment. Sirius had finally stopped watching the new girl and was grinning mischievously along with his friends. 

"First off," he explained, "the Forbidden Forest, as its' name indicates it, has forbidden access to all students. I've also been asked by our caretaker Mr. Filch to remind you that no magic is allowed in the corridors and between classes. Now to the feast: enjoy the food!"

As soon as Dumbledore waved his wand, all sorts of delicious foods appeared out of thin air and on the tables. Soon, everyone had served themselves with salmon, roast beef, boiled potatoes, stew or basmati rice. By the end of the feast, I was stuffed to explode. Roxy on the other side, seemed to have just started. How that girl could eat so much and stay so thin was _way_ beyond me. Finally, Dumbledore told us all to get to bed and added ever so nicely that he wanted to meet the Head Boy and Girl in his office immediately. 

"Oh great, it's bad enough Potter has to be Head Boy without Dumbledore lecturing me about how we're going to have to get along, " I said as we got up to leave he Great Hall with the others.

"It might not be so bad, you know," Adriane replied.

"Knowing Potter, smoothly is not the word to describe how this year is gonna go," I said, not only thinking about his arrogance.

"Well, we'll leave you to your doom then," Roxy grinned as they climbed the stairs to the common room while I headed down the hall.

"Hey Lily!" a voice I knew all too well called behind me seconds later. I ignored it and picked up my pace.

"Would you mind not ignoring me for once?" Potter asked. It seemed like it had taken him half a second to catch up with me, for he was already walking by my side.

"Yes, I would," I replied coldly. 

"Come on, can't you be civil?" he asked.

" _I'm_ not being civil?" I snapped.

"Hell no you aren't," he retorted. I had stopped walking, so had he. He was facing me and looking so smart, so self-assured, yet the stupid grin I had expected him to paste on his face was lacking once more. Why wasn't he being his normal self? It would have made the whole situation so much easier. 

"Fine, whatever Potter…" I replied before taking a left turn.

"You can call me James, you know. In fact, you already did," he whispered the last five words into my ear as he followed me closely from behind. It sent shivers down my spine. I turned around to face him.

"Please, I'd really like to forget whatever it is that happened outside," I declared even though deep down, I knew that was unconditionally impossible.

"Why?" he asked in a sort of pained voice.

"It just… it wasn't me, I wasn't… Please don't do this," was my answer. Was I softening?

"Whatever you say, " he responded, though I could tell he was disappointed. But why did I even care? This was Potter…

"But considering we're going to have to work together, we might as well get along and forget a couple of differences we've been sharing for the past six years," he suggested smartly. 

"All right, but this doesn't mean we're friends, " I said grudgingly. He said nothing. Maybe I _was_ being a bit harsh on him…

Two flights of stairs later, we arrived in front of the gargoyles.

" _Caramel Apple_ ," Potter said, and instantly, the stairs to the headmaster's office appeared.

"How do you know the -" I asked curiously.

"I just do," he interrupted nonchalantly as he began climbing the stairs.

"But how come you -"

"Evans, you're not gonna get an answer out of me, so there's no point bothering. " he responded coldly. And he was the one talking about being civil! Yet somehow, the fact that he had called me Evans didn't leave me indifferent. I guess I had gotten used to Lily ever since the end of last year.

Damn Potter. 

We finally arrived in front of the grand oak door leading to Dumbledore's office. He knocked, and we entered the overly furnished room as usual. Unidentifiable spinning globes and other crazy objects found their place on every table and cupboard or hung wildly from the ceiling. 

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans, do sit down," the wizard said motioning to the seats in front of his desk. We did as instructed.

"First of all, I'd like to congratulate you both on making Heads."

"But with all due respect sir… why me?" Potter interrupted hastily. Did he have any idea how rude that was? To interrupt the headmaster like that?

"Well, you _are_ the best students in this school and the professors - well most of them anyway, found that you would be most capable for the job," Dumbledore explained.

"But I wasn't even a prefect!" 

"Well, back then you weren't exactly… suitable but I decided to make an exception for once," Dumbledore said. 

I glanced at Potter. He was grinning his ever-so-famous grin, which I absolutely loathed — and he knew it. I turned to face Dumbledore who was making a similar face even though no one and I mean no one, not even Black, could manage Potter's mischievous grin. What the hell was going on? I was beginning to think Potter was controlling Dumbledore somehow. Then I realized he couldn't possibly have the power to do that. It was just as probable as him being an Animagus.

"It's been quite some time since both Heads came from the same house, I'd say a couple decades but nonetheless, I trust you to do the right things and take the best decisions. You'll have lots of responsibilities this year, such as hall patrol, prefect meetings, taking care of any problem that might come up and you'll also be required to organize an… entertainment," he added finally, having been looking for the right word.

"You mean like a school party?"  Potter said excitingly.

"Yes, I suppose you could call it that," Dumbledore confirmed.

"But this didn't take place last year or the year before…" I noticed.

"For the simple reason that I didn't feel the Heads could pull it together any of the past couple of years but when it comes to you two, let's just say I'm looking forward to a bit of fun," he said. Potter looked simply ecstatic about the idea. I seriously doubted whether he or Dumbledore had come up with it.

"If you have no more questions, then you may go to your common room," he concluded. Potter and I rose from our seats, thanked Dumbledore and walked out of his office.

"Lils, this is gonna be sweet!" Potter exclaimed as we walked down the third floor corridor.

"For the last time, don't call me Lils," I said, annoyed.

"No can do, Lily darling. Why don't you cheer up? We're gonna be planning the greatest _entertainment_ ," he said mimicking Dumbledore, "this school had ever seen!"

"You're gonna help plan this? Now that'd be surprising since unless I'm terribly mistaken, you have no sense whatsoever of responsibilities!" I cried.

"Then you're terribly mistaken, Lils, because not only am I going to organize the best party ever known to this castle, I'll be following all the damn responsibilities a Head Boy is suppose to follow!" he declared. 

"I'll believe that when I see it," I snarled.

"And believe it you will," he grinned.

"In your dreams," I spat.

"What kind of dreams Lils?" he asked mischievously.

"Shut up Potter," I snapped. He smiled just to anger me a bit more. Why did he love pushing my buttons so much? We arrived in front of the Fat lady's portrait and I realized I didn't know the password. Dumbledore must have forgotten to give it to us.

" _Hazel Crow_ ," Potter said and the portrait swung open.

"Do you know every password in Hogwarts?" I asked unbelieving.

"The ones I need to know," he answered casually.

"Which _are_ ?" I continued.

"Do you seriously think I'm gonna answer that?" he grinned.

"Worth a try," I half-grinned back. I quickly looked away. What was I doing? Thank Merlin he didn't reply to that for I would have been embarrassed beyond thought. We entered the common room which was filled with students of all ages as usual. I parted from Potter and went to join Adriane and Roxy in a corner by the fireplace. They didn't notice me coming, what with all the noise, and I caught the last bit of their conversation:

"It's totally obvious -"

"What's totally obvious?" I asked. Roxy went suddenly quite red.

"Um… that… Snape will be pranked tomorrow…" Adriane started not exactly sure of herself.

"At breakfast," Roxy added quickly.

"Let me tell you something : _you can't lie_ ," I stated smiling.

"But that doesn't mean you won't believe us," Adriane grinned.

"Oh yes it does, what were you talking about?" I demanded. My two best friends looked at each other uncertainly. An idea popped into my mind and I knew instantly I had understood.

"Hell no! Potter and I are _not_ obvious, OK? We've never _been_ and we never _will be_!" I exclaimed.

"If you say so," Adriane said. The conversation turned to other matters, such as the fact that there would be a party sort of thing and that Potter was absolutely overjoyed about it. By eleven thirty, only seventh years were still in the common room, the rest had gone to bed. Adriane, Roxy and I were seated on a couch by the fire discussing my sister's unconditionally despicable boyfriend before noticing a couple of people surrounding us: the Marauders had taken seats on the other side of the table, discussing matters we didn't want to be informed of and Kathryn was talking with the other seventh year girls in our dorm my friends and I didn't really appreciate much. 

"Roxy, are you listening to me?" Adriane asked.

"Huh?" Roxy jumped and looked at Adriane.

"She was too busy staring at Black again," I informed her. Black was observing the new girl again, it was definitely getting strange.

"Whatever," Roxy sighed, setting her gaze on the fire. I hated to see her like this. I kept discouraging her to go out with Black because I knew he'd hurt her being the player that he is; but I couldn't help feeling bad about it. I looked at the guy she loved for a second: still staring at Kathryn. What was it with him? 

Suddenly, his confused gaze became knowing, conscious, as if he had just found out what he was searching for. His eyes grew wide as if he couldn't believe whatever it was he had realized. I looked over at Kathryn who was giving him a similar look, the fright apparent in her eyes. It was as though they were connected by a secret only they were aware of. They continued staring at each other for another minute, as though to make sure they were really seeing what they were seeing, their expressions unchanging. The whole room was watching the scene with interest, no one daring to break the silence that had fallen. No one had ever seen Sirius Black this way and no one expected him to say the sentences he was about to pronounce.


	4. Unforeseen Arrival

Rain inside and out

 

__

_You're such a filthy witch_   
_I hate you to no end_   
_I can't see how they want_   
_To consider you their friend_

_You kill all in your path_   
_Just so you can win_   
_Your heart is like this pop can, empty tin_   
__

_You're like a snake, plain old cruel_   
_But when I look around_   
_the boys all drool_   
_I don’t see what they see_

_And I'm glad to know you_   
_So I don’t get hypnotised and poisoned by you_

 

_Last chapter:_

_They continued staring at each other for another minute, as though to make sure they were really seeing what they were seeing, their expressions unchanging. The whole room was watching the scene with interest, no one daring to break the silence that had fallen. No one had ever seen Sirius Black this way and no one had expected him to say the following sentences he was about to pronounce._

Chapter 4 : Unforeseen arrival

“What the _hell_ are you doing here, Liz?”� Black suddenly called.

“I don't believe that's any of your goddamn business, Sirius,”� the girl replied through clenched teeth.

“Finally got expelled from Durmstrang, did you?”� Black laughed nastily. 

“Don't go any further,”� she spat menacingly. Her eyes were blazing with fury. If looks could kill Sirius would have been long dead and for a fraction of a second, he looked uncertain about defying her.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn't,”� he said finally, daring her all the same.

“Dumbledore trusts me.”�

“Well I don't happen to,”� he stated sharply.

“Haven't changed in the slightest, have you Black?”� she snarled.

“I see you haven't either,”� he said coldly. Silence fell once more for a few seconds.

“I'm not going to lie to them,”� Black declared at last.

"I can't say I expected you to," she answered briefly. 

"Well then," he said looking over at his friends, "let me -"

"Oh _shut it_ , I think I can introduce myself," she interrupted, "I'm Eliza Claythorne…”� she rolled her eyes. “Sirius’ cousin.”�

Silence again as another wave of shock spread throughout the common room. Whatever happened to Kathryn? Well, at least we knew why Black had been looking at this girl for so long. They probably hadn't seen each other in years; otherwise they'd have recognized one another straight away. But even if their last encounter was distant in time, you could tell their mutual hatred was intact.

"I'm Lily Evans," I said at last, trying to make conversation and break the silence that was growing uncomfortable, "this is Roxy Strider and Adriane Cloepfil."

Eliza turned to look at me, slightly surprised, before nodding to show recognition. 

"Yeah I'm sure it's a real pleasure, but it doesn't explain why you're here," Black said uncaringly. 

"Grandma thought I'd be better off at Hogwarts,”� she sighed.

"Well, she _is_ the only one with sense in this family but it's quite impressive on your _dear_ parents part to have agreed to that! Oh let me guess," he said mockingly, "they send you here to spy on Dumbledore?"

"Am I really hearing this?" she exclaimed astonished.

"Show me your arm then! The Dark Mark was seen in the sky no longer than three hours ago, it should still be quite apparent!" he cried out.

"I cannot _fucking_ believe you Sirius! You seriously think I'm some Death Eater?" she asked appalled.

"It’s well known the Claythornes are one of the greatest Voldemort supporting families!" Black called viciously.

"And the Blacks aren't?" she snapped, rising up from her seat.

"I left my so-called-family a year ago!» he retorted, getting up himself.

"What bloody difference does it make?" Eliza shouted. "I don't have anything against Muggle borns!"

"Don't make me buy that bullshit, I'm surprised you weren't sorted into Slytherin. Merlin, oh Merlin, I can only _imagine_ your parents disappointment when they find out you're in Gryffindor," Black continued, his scornful eyes piercing into hers.

"Just shut -" 

"I bet you're just _so_ proud of them terrorizing the -"

"They're dead Sirius," she declared looking at him straight in the eyes.

"What?" Black said unbelieving.

"You heard me, they're dead," she repeated more softly and, as if speaking to herself rather than him," _he_ killed them last summer."

"Well, it just goes to show how disloyal they were. When you've sunken as low as becoming a Death Eater, you might as well be a faithful one. But no, your parents didn't even show loyalty to their so called master. They got what they deserved -"

“Repeat that and I swear I'll -" she shouted angrily, threatening him with the wand she had taken out. Black had done the same and looked ready to duel.

"You'll what? Hex me?" he laughed. "I'm sure you learned some nice little tricks in Durmstrang!"

She stared hard at him, not flinching for a second. Indeed it looked like she knew every trick in the book, every single hex ever created. She held her wand smoothly, a firm grip on it nonetheless, but with an indescribable grace. It seemed she was one with her wand, she knew every element, every fiber of wood with which it was produced. If there was one person you shouldn’t have messed with, it was with her. And yet as she glared at Black, fury and loathing almost possessing her entirely, she held on to every molecule of self control she owned.

"I won't sink as low as you," she shot with abhorrence before turning around and heading up the stairs to the girls' dormitory. Black stood immobile for a few moments, as if taken aback, before abruptly and deliberately knocking over a nearby vase, which shattered into a million pieces on the floor. He took no notice whatsoever.? 

"Damn her!" he muttered angrily under his breath before heading up to his dorm. Once he had left, I looked at Potter, who was already looking at me. For the strangest unexplainable reason, I could tell what he was thinking and vise versa.

"You think we should?" I asked him. 

"Definitely," he replied. Next second, we had our wands out and were pointing them at the Caroline and Victoria, the other seventh years.

" _Obliviate!_ " we shouted together. Two flashes of orange light came out of our wands and hit the two girls who didn't have time to react.

"Considering the rumor-spreading habits they have, it's best they forget what they've seen and heard," I declared. 

"But you… you're not allowed to do that!" Adriane said.

"We're Heads, and Dumbledore's obviously the one who gave her the fake name so he'll be thanking us. However no one else must know, all right? We have to call her Kathryn whenever we're in class, unless someone else wants a memory charm?" Potter asked. We all nodded in agreement. I felt a speck of admiration towards him: the authority he had, the seriousness he took. OK, I've _got_ to stop thinking about him this way! He's an idiot, remember? 

"I'm off to bed, good night," Roxy said sleepily as she headed towards our dorm, followed by Adriane. I looked over at the clock hanging on the wall, on top of the fireplace: past midnight, yet I wasn't so tired.

"See you in the morning," I said anyway joining my friends. I didn't feel like staying alone in the common room with the remaining Marauders. We climbed up the stairs to the seventh year dorm; Roxy sunk on her bed and fell asleep the moment her head reached her pillow. Adriane bothered to brush her teeth and went to bed with a quick “goodnight”�. I laid on mine, but just couldn't get to sleep. Why was Potter on my mind? I kept thinking about earlier under the rain. Come on, it doesn't mean anything…

Realizing I wouldn't fall asleep, I got up and stood by the windowsill, admiring the half moon and the stars illuminating the dark sky. Suddenly, I heard gasping from behind me.

"No…please don't… don't do it…" a voice moaned desperately inside the room. The words made me shudder. I spun around and noticed the additional bed in the dorm, whose presence strangely didn't make the room seem any smaller. It must have belonged to Eliza. I walked towards her slowly. She was shifting in her bed, but it ended seconds later. I stopped in my tracks… silence fell… I was about to head back to the window when her voice sent shivers down my spine:

"Stop!" she cried before taking deep, unsteady breaths. She had awoken. Oh God…

I walked up to her bed as silently as I could muster, instinct leading the way, although I knew she could hear me. She was holding her breath, listening for the slightest sounds. The Durmstrang way. I reached her bed.

"Dad?" she asked, her voice shaking. I slowly opened the curtains to her bed.

"Merlin, it's you!" Eliza exclaimed, shocked. She threw her head back against the pillow, beads of sweat escaping her forehead. She was thoroughly shaken. I could tell her heart was still beating a hundred miles an hour.

"Are you OK?" I asked anxiously, sitting next to her.

"Do I look OK to you?" she said coldly. I didn't answer that, I just kept looking at her, unable to imagine what kind of terrible things were running through her mind. And I thought myself cursed to be thinking about Potter…

"I see them all the time," she whispered finally, "everywhere… I'm haunted day and night."

"Say what's on your heart," I tried to comfort her.

"You don't even know me, why do you care?"

"I can't sleep, you can't either. And you obviously have some pretty heavy burden to get off your chest,”� I explained. She studied me for a few moments, as though to see if I could be trusted. She took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eyes. Sirius' eyes, I noticed.

"We were at a campsite. I was five. We were sitting by the fire, watching the stars… then these three hooded figures apparated. My father went with them. Next thing I knew, chaos was established: people screaming all over the place, running for their lives, tents on fire. My mother was laughing," she remembered, tears forming in her eyes, "laughing! I was horrified and she just stood there… laughing." 

"Then I saw my dad… he—he advanced on a helpless woman on the ground. I was just feet away from her. Everything was on fire… she looked at me with despair in her eyes, crying, praying for her life. I shouted at my father. I did, I told him-I…" the tears were now sliding uncontrollably down her face. "I begged him to stop, to leave her… he just looked at me and smiled evilly, his wand directed towards that poor woman-he-I kept yelling, I… there was a flash of blue light and the woman began screaming-she was screaming so loud… twitching hysterically on the ground, I thought she’d gone mad… and I can still hear them laugh… torturing the innocent-I implored him-I couldn't stand it…"

"Green light, and it stopped… I looked at the woman… her lifeless body, lying in the middle of hell, her despaired eyes still glaring at me… "

Silent tears had fallen on my cheeks. I couldn't think of a single thing I could tell her. I wanted to make her forget it all. But I knew it was engraved in her mind forever. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into a hug. 

"It was one of Voldemort's first attacks,”� Liz said into my neck. “The next day I had forgotten about it, someone must have put some memory charm on me. For twelve years, it lay forgotten in a corner of my mind I couldn't access… Then they died, and that same summer night, I relived it all in a dream. A dream I have constantly. I hear them laugh… I hear her scream… I see her gaze… a gaze that follows me everywhere. There are some things even the most powerful magic won't make you forget."

"But you loved them, that's why you stayed," I whispered.

"I loved them…" Eliza murmured almost absently. I kept embracing her tightly, until she had fallen asleep. I let go of her and pulled the covers over her peaceful body. The face that had been tense and angry looked remarkably relaxed. I pulled the curtains and proceeded to my own bed. 

????????? ~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤

~I was awoken the next morning by Adriane, who was trying to get Roxy and me up, in absolute vain.

"Come on! Classes start in a half hour!" she cried.

"What? You're kidding, right?" I exclaimed. I looked at my alarm clock, a muggle object I had bewitched to work properly inside Hogwarts. Eight am. What a great way to start a school year. I jumped out of bed, ran to the bathroom for a shower, got dressed and flew to the Great Hall for breakfast. We were almost there when I stopped dead in my tracks.

"You _did_ wake up Eliza, right?" I asked Adriane worriedly. 

"She wasn't in her bed when I got up," my friend replied. “But I meant to talk to you about her. Don’t you think it’s a bit strange? I mean, she _did_ lie to us about her true identity —”� 

“With good reason ! Her parents were reported in the _Prophet_ as mass murderers, don’t you remember? Imagine how students would react about their daughter suddenly coming to Hogwarts, especially those who are now orphans because of them. She wouldn’t see the end of it. It’d be hell for her, especially since she didn’t plan on carrying on in their footsteps.”�

“How can you be sure of that, Lily?”� Adriane questioned.

“You were there last night. You heard her. Are you honestly going to tell me you’re ready to take Black’s word for it instead of hers?”�

“Sirius may act like an idiot,”� Roxy conceded, “but he wouldn’t lie. Not about something this important. She _is_ his cousin. He knows her better than we do.”�

I sighed and said in a low voice. “She’s just lost her parents. Give her a break. You saw how Black reacted to that. No one should react like that, not to her face. ”�

“I just think you’re taking her defense too quickly,”� Adriane said.

“And I think I’m giving her a chance when no one’s willing to.”�

“Fine. But don’t say we didn’t warn you if she ends up to be a different person than what you expected,”� Adriane concluded.

They couldn’t know, of course. They had been fast asleep last night. 

We entered the Great Hall and I was relieved to find Eliza sitting at the Gryffindor table.

"Hey Evans, wanna go out with me?" someone called from behind me.

"You'll never get it will you, Potter ? " I shot aggravated, not bothering to turn around.

"Never will get what?" Potter bewilderedly questioned. He was sitting across the table, right in front of me. How had he…?

"Evans!" the voice pursued. I spun around to face Matthew Spencer, a Hufflepuff, walking towards me.

"What?" I asked him, slightly confused.

"Will you go out with me?" he repeated, rather annoyed. So it was him. He was the kind of guy who thought people were lucky to breathe the same air as him. 

"No, I think I’d rather keep my dignity," I answered coolly, matching his arrogance, before heading towards where Eliza was sitting.

"Bitch," I heard him mutter under his breath. I ignored it but a certain dark haired, hazel eyed guy wouldn't have done so in a million years. Next thing I knew, Spencer was fervently singing the French national anthem without as much as the trace of an accent.? The Great Hall erupted in laughter. I had to admit, it _was_ pretty hilarious but I was determined not to show that to the enemy.

"Potter!" I shouted.

"He just insulted you, Lils! Did you really expect me to just stand there?" he answered casually. 

"You're supposed to be Head Boy!" I cried.

“Do you ever chill?" he asked, truly acting as if the right answer was far from being obvious. I rolled my eyes in annoyance and walked away.

“Anyone sitting here?" I asked Eliza once we had arrived at her end of the table.

“Nope, you can sit here. Lily, right? If you don't mind me asking, what's up with you and this Potter guy?" she asked. 

“THANK YOU!" Adriane and Roxy chorused. "We've been telling her for ages that she has something for him!"

“Shut up! There's nothing between me and that git!" I replied.

“Anyway, I took your time tables since you weren't there when they were handed out," Eliza said, giving us small pieces of parchment.

“Thanks again,”� Roxy said.

“No problem.”�

"So, you're… Eliza?" Adriane asked, speaking more softly as to not be overheard.

"And you're Adriane. Call me Liz, no one calls me Eliza. Can you pass the jam, Roxy?”� and when my friend looked surprised, she added, "You introduced yourself last night during that… encounter with my lovely cousin.”�

We ate hastily and walked out of there as fast as humanly possible, heading towards the History of Magic classroom, as our time table had so delightfully indicated us to do so. Inexplicably, we arrived on time and were about to spend two long, depressing hours with the Ravenclaws, who didn't look exactly ecstatic about spending another year with Professor Binns either, when Black came up to me and asked if we could talk. Amazing thing was, he was talking seriously, a rare sight, and Potter wasn't with him, an even rarer sight. I followed him a bit further down the hall, where he adopted an overprotective-brother-watching-over-the-ignorant-little-sister sort of look.

"I just wanted to warn you about Liz," he told me. I was utterly stunned. What _was_ it with everyone?

"I think I know who I can trust," I replied. He shook his head.

"You don't know her like I do. She'll do anything to get what she wants. She'll even put your life in danger if that's what it takes for her to reach her goal," he insisted. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Do you honestly think I'm going to believe that?" I asked. He didn't find it funny in the slightest.

"I'm just warning you, Evans. I don't want to see you get hurt," he said. It was one of the exceptional times he had ever spoken seriously to me, the first he showed me he cared.

"Look, she just lost her parents for Merlin's sake! Can you even imagine a millionth of what she's going through?" I answered.

“Because _I_ didn’t lose mine, maybe?”� was his immediate bitter response.

“What?”� 

"Never mind, just promise me you'll be careful," Black said.

"Why do you care?" I questioned. 

"She betrayed me, Lily and betrayal is one thing I don't forgive. I don't want to see it happening to you, nor Roxy, nor Adriane, nor anyone else" he explained. I pondered the thought for a moment. 

"Whatever happened to you, it won't happen to me, nor Roxy, nor Adriane, nor anyone else. I'm _not_ going to stay away from Liz when that's exactly the opposite of what she needs. She needs support, Black," I said.

"Promise me you'll be careful," he repeated. I looked straight into his blue-grayish eyes and saw the one thing I never expected to see in them: fear.

"I'll… stay alert," I assured him before walking away.

****


	5. Mysteriously Lost

Rain inside and out

_Do you know what it’s like to wake up dead_

_To wake up and see that everything has fled_

_To wake up and see you’re only in a dream_

_To wake up and bleed and then begin to scream_

_To look around and see the world is grey_

_To look around and see you’re in a play_

_To look around and not be understood_

_To look around and see you should_

_Should die, should scream, should yell,_

_Be killed, be burn alive and go to hell_

_For what you've done, you know it was wrong_

_You should stop living the lie you've lived forever long_

                              - Elizabeth Vornbrock

Chapter 5 : Mysteriously Lost   

History of Magic, the subject I could do nothing but loathe, seemed to drone on forever. Binns was blabbing on and on about giant conflicts in northern Australia since the XVIth century, and even Dumbledore would have slept through his lecture. I made tremendous efforts to work my quill on a spare piece of parchment in order to take notes. Needless to say, I failed unconditionally and gave up ten minutes into class. Strangely, Adriane was into such dull things (the reason she took Advanced History unlike me), I could always copy notes from her in exchange for my Charms notes. I looked around to see if anyone was paying the slightest attention and found my first intuition confirmed: boredom had its dictatorship established. 

Fortunately, before Binns’ soporific voice took the best of me, a sealed piece of parchment magically appeared on my desk. I unrolled it. 

_Thanks for listening last night and not telling anything to Roxy and Adriane. I'd rather this be kept between us. Is class always this boring?_

I turned the paper over and wrote on the back before sending it back to her with a flick and a swish of my wand.

_No problem. History of Magic always works like a sleeping pill with Binns around._

We kept sending notes until the end of class, completely overlooking Binns. 

“Would you mind telling the class what's so funny, Ms Desner?” the Professor asked reproachfully, only a minute before the bell would ring. Surely even _he_ had some idea of the lifelessness of his class.

“Nothing at all,” Liz replied, quickly hiding her laughter.

“Then I'm sure you wouldn't mind repeating what I've just said since you were obviously paying attention,” he said smoothly. Oh great. Just what she needed on a first day of school. Why didn't I just daydream like everybody else and not get her in trouble? 

“Well Mr. Binns, you were just commenting the arguments defended by each of the giant tribes installed in Australia and how neither of them made sense, while the Australian Ministry of Magic took the whole thing as if it were a _joke_ until the real conflicts began in 1578 and they hardly knew how to deal with the situation, since they were barely aware of the cause of it anyway,” Liz recited as if reading the plot to an adventurous and fascinating movie. 

The entire room gaped at her, stunned. Even Professor Binns couldn't believe it. But how could she have been sending me notes for the past two hours and still have paid attention to every word he had said? 

“Well… I suppose that's… what I said,” the Professor said sheepishly. Liz gave him a horribly sweet smile as the bell rung and we all stepped of the room.

“Binns even forgot to give us homework!” Roxy cheered once we were out in the corridor.

“Were you really listening to whatever he was saying?” I asked, still amazed.

“If there are two things worthwhile I learned in Durmstrang, it's being able to do two things at once and having a good memory,” she replied. 

“So Sirius wasn't lying?” Roxy said. Liz looked at her carefully, before raising an eyebrow. “I mean - you did go to Durmstrang?” Roxy added hurriedly.

“It was all about the dark arts over there though. So, I’m going to presume Sirius told you to stay away from me?” she asked me, quickly changing the subject.

“Well, yes but it's not like I believe any of what he said," I clarified.

“There's only one thing Sirius doesn't understand: the fact that I've changed. Last time we had met was some… nine years ago and back then, let's just say I was pretty damn ignorant on what concerned muggle borns,” Liz explained.

“So Durmstrang worked out real well for you, didn't it? Can't say it's surprising,” Black called sourly as he passed us with his friends. Liz took her wand out and pointed it at his back.

“Do repeat that, cousin,” she dared him, once again displaying that grace and close-to-perfection posture she dangerously possessed. He spun around and barely had the time to take his wand out when a spell she had send him seconds before hit his face, yet nothing happened. I looked at Liz, who was grinning nonetheless. Just then, a piece of parchment flew in the corridor by the window and made its way to Black. He took it and read.

“Damn it,” he muttered.

“What is it?” Potter asked.

“Dumbledore wants to see us,” Liz answered for him, “and if we attack each other, we'll be risking expulsion.”

“How the hell do you know that?” Black exclaimed, outraged.

“It’s written all over your forehead,” Liz laughed. And she wasn't kidding, it _was_ written all over his forehead in shiny red letters, which disappeared seconds later. So her hex _had_ worked. Adriane, Roxy and I burst out laughing. 

“Whatever you read in the next two hours will be displayed on your beautiful forehead, dear. As you said, you do learn some nice little tricks in Durmstrang,” she informed Black, pleased with his horrorstruck expression. She walked away grinning, headed towards Dumbledore's office. 

“She will _not_ get away with that, believe me,” Black made known as he hurried after her. Yet she had beyond doubt managed to _hex_ Sirius Black without getting send to the hospital wing… yet.

“And _we're_ not gonna get away with the fact that we're ten minutes late for Transfiguration!” Roxy groaned, after having taken a glance at her watch. So we literally ran for our lives to McGonagall's classroom on the third floor. Once arrived, we caught our breath and entered.

“So you actually planned on coming?” a tall woman asked scathingly, her eyes losing their sharpness day by day, features worn out by age, or the pressure of war perhaps. 

“Sorry for the delay,” Potter answered politely, trying his casual approach with the professor.

“You're _twenty_ minutes late, M. Potter! Would you care to explain yourself?” she demanded, not at all falling for his gallant allure, which for once, I would have hoped could have worked miracles, like it usually did.

“We were…” he started uncertainly, a first. He was _never_ uncertain. 

“- helping Sirius get rid of some hex I had thrown him accidentally but none of us knew the counter curse so we brought him to the hospital wing. But then we ran into Peeves in the corridors who dumped a bucket of paint on Liz -I mean Kathryn- so obviously she had to get cleaned up. And then we found out that paint was somehow permanent and wouldn't get off; I think I saw some at that new joke shop Zonko's last year. So we had to get her to the hospital wing as well and by the time we arrived here… we were late,” I said in the most serious voice I could muster. I also added a touch of annoyance and astonishment to make it sound a bit more realistic. McGonagall looked at me surprised, then unbelieving, then unsure. I kept my face as straight as I could: getting on this professor's wrong side on the first day of the last year of school couldn’t exactly be defined as a good idea.

“You’re meaning to tell me,” Professor McGonagall said very slowly, “that you hexed Mr. Black?”

“It was accidental of course,” I assured her. I said it with such certainty, such seriousness, the look on her face was closer to doubt than anything else. 

This is probably the only time she hadn't seen through me, for she nodded, told us to sit down and went back to telling the class about NEWTS. I sighed a deep sigh of relief.

“Couldn't have done it better myself,” Potter whispered into my ear. Couldn’t he just stop doing that? No, of course not. He wasn’t the one feeling most strangely vulnerable when his voice spoke softly, sending shivers down my spine…

                                                  ****

The next two weeks passed quite uneventfully, essays and tests to study for piling up on everyone's desk, especially the seventh years'. The Quidditch season had started and I hardly saw Roxy outside of classes anymore, what with all the extra practice Potter had established. She had been a chaser on the Gryffindor team since third year, along with another girl in fifth year and Potter who was also captain and a pretty good one too. Gryffindor had never lost a game since he got the position two years ago and he was determined to keep it that way until his very last day at Hogwarts. 

         Potter and I had decided on a first Prefect Meeting sometime in late September and I was honestly more looking forward to being exiled to Antarctica than I was to going to it. Potter was going to mess up, being the prankster that he is, I knew he would. How could it possibly be avoidable? I could talk to him… but he’d just take me for an idiot at any rate. And even if I did, what would it matter? It was in his nature to act like and be an overconfident, exasperating, not-a-care-in-the-world bloke. So with all the reluctance possessing me, I headed down the endless cold corridors of the castle, straight to the library (although the idea of taking the longest detour by the Astronomy Tower did cross my mind), straight to the inevitable humiliation I was to undergo, which I hoped would not be particularly memorable for these new prefects. 

They looked alright… at first sight. In reality they were vicious. They were _fifteen_ , for Merlin’s sake, the age where boys and girls alike are carefree as the wind, live on a day-to-day basis, center of their little world (excepting exceptions of course); the age where guys have this grand illumination about the opposite sex. And before you know it, hormones raving, they’re chasing girls like it’s all that matters and the corrupted victims of this chase love the praise, act all giddy and incorporate this system of what they’re supposed to look like and how they’re supposed to act. Sad… and Potter is a living proof of that system, the system I’ve always refused to abide to. That was one of the major differences between him and me and why we lived in worlds so different and therefore so far apart. He acted _fifteen_. How could I possibly get my message through with _him_ as Head Boy ? 

I stopped dead in my tracks. Wait… where was I? I’d been so deep in thought, I hadn’t even realized where I was heading… I got lost. Fabulous. Absolutely fabulous. Six years in this bloody castle and yet so many mysteries still uncovered. I saw this reality with frustration… and a strange feeling of regret. In any case, I was going to be late now, if I ever found my way back that is… 

A single portrait, fast asleep, dim light, spider webs in ever corner, view on the Forbidden Forest, a faint smell of filth and badly brewed potions; the slightest step echoing around the corridor, an ice-cold breeze blowing. This place had a bad feeling to it, and it sure wasn’t reassuring. I had never stepped here, that was certain. How was I supposed to find my way back ?

Footsteps. Coming unequivocally my way. Closer and closer by the second. Rooted to the spot with cold fear and uncertainty as to what to do, I finally decided to move against the wall in a shaded corner, hidden by a large pillar of ancient stone. Through the darkness I distinguished an emblem: a symbol of two jade green snakes intertwined around the silver outline of a… a wand with fumes coming out of the end of it. Whatever it meant, it was no good idea to be discovered in such an unsettling place, especially if you were Head Girl. Voices arose, the foot steps became louder and the words easier to understand. I held my breath, preventing air from escaping my mouth under the cold air. I stood as still as a statue, hoping, _praying_ not to be seen.

“I just can’t believe him! Two rolls of parchment!” the voice of a girl said as she passed feet away from me, utterly unaware of my presence.

“It’s just plain evil,” the boy accompanying her agreed, “Immixta _Sanguis_. _”_

“I’m getting sick and tired of this “pureblood” crap, gives us one hell of a bad reputation,” the first girl sighed in exasperation. 

The boy replied some answer inaudible to me, the sound of a door opening shook the dead atmosphere of the corridor and only when the door closed did I breathe again. All I wanted was to get out of here, but before I could take a step forward, more footsteps were heard. I groaned, and hid behind the pillar once more. The footsteps were quick and rough on the paved floor, and their echo carried a sense of worry. The fear of being discovered was much more intense now than it had been before. The footsteps stopped, dread swarmed over me. I felt… watched.

“Mischief managed,” a voice whispered to the wind, the words barely audible to me at all. 

“Lily, get out of there,” the same voice called much louder in full exasperation but relief. I recognized that someone instantly. I had spent half my life hating that voice. And he was just about the last (yet also probably the first) person I wanted to see. I stepped forward, and in the dim light, cold and obscuring, discovered the handsome face of James Potter, his imperious eyes, whose spark gave away a sign close to desperation, glaring at me from behind those black glasses of his. Alright, I was facing James Potter. Facing James Potter was never a pretty sight. So I took matters into my own hands before he took them into his by asking the first and very random question that popped into my head:

“What are you doing here?” 

Lame, very lame, I know…

He gave an irritable laugh: “What am _I_ doing here? I came to get you that’s what! The Prefect meeting started ten minutes ago, why are you here and not there? ” he inquired compellingly.

“Am I not allowed to walk around?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Oh I see, I should have figured a stroll in such a pleasant place would be your cup of tea,” he waved his hand about the humid walls of the dirty corridor.

“That’s none of your business,” I answered sharply. What right did he have to ask questions? And I didn’t need him to come get me, thank you very much.

“Well excuse me for wondering what the muggle born _Head Girl_ is doing in front of the Slytherin common room entrance,” he replied self-righteously.

My mouth went dry, I couldn’t think of what to answer. The symbol in the stone, the students speaking of purebloods, the smell of potions, it finally clicked. How could I not have noticed…?

“I… how did you know I’d be here?” I inquired.

“I don’t need to answer that. You should be thankful I found you! When exactly did you plan on getting back? ”

“I don’t need help from _you_!” I snarled heatedly.

“It’s _not_ the time to discuss that issue,” he said crossly, clearly making an effort to calm down. Our arguments always started like this and _now_ , he was trying to avoid one. Well let him try.

“Well you’ve always refused to discuss the matter, why should I be surprised?” I questioned rhetorically. Oh how his eyes betrayed him! He was dying to have a row at me, to yell, to express exactly what was on his mind. All his self control was demanded to keep himself from erupting in fury. 

“What were you doing here?” he repeated, this time less forcefully, his eyes nevertheless glittering daggers.

“You don’t answer my question, I don’t answer yours,” I suggested quickly, although I wasn’t sure that was fair on me. I got lost, so what? Well too late now, Potter was thinking it over, hazel and emerald in inflexible and obstinate connection. I could have stared into his eyes forever.

“Fine, we have a Prefect meeting to preside, you know,” he said casually losing his anger, his eyes still boring into mine.

“Yeah…” I said, not understanding his words at all and sincerely not caring in the slightest. 

He blinked, I blinked…

“ We got a PREFECT MEETING ! ” I shouted, absolutely mortified, realization finally sinking in.

“ Oh already figured THAT one out, did you?” Potter asked smartly, his voice thick with exasperation and sarcasm.

“We got to go, we got to get there, my god this is so bad,” I shrieked. 

“Lily, it’s the other _way_!”

“Right… I knew that…”

“Merlin and Agrippa…” Potter rolled his eyes.

Surprisingly, we arrived in the library to find our dear Prefects still there, even though we were half an hour late. Stress was the wall so high I couldn’t see the top to go over, shyness had rivers I couldn’t imagine I could cross and humiliation suddenly had the clearest connection to my name. How could I possibly destroy the wall, cross the river and break the connection? Only one answer came to my mind, and even though it was the craziest idea I’d ever thought of, I knew it’d be the only way to gain respect from these maddening fifteen year olds. The one solution was… to be Potter. And if you couldn’t _be_ Potter, you had to act like it. And after spending six years with the guy, let’s just say I had _some_ knowledge on the matter.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, the Head Girl and I were just -”

“- Patrolling the halls for evidence on the theft of a wand stolen yesterday,” I interrupted casually, putting my plan into action. “You understand it had to be done, and if you must know, the one responsible for this lack of common sense will be severely punished. So if you know _anything_ about it, it’s greatly recommended to speak before evidence is oh-so-sadly found against you. Right, Potter?”

“Absolutely,” he played along instantly and faked seriousness, displaying an advising look on his face: the very much expected response. And before I could stop myself, I found that I was smiling rather cynically, enjoying my threat towards these poor Prefects who certainly didn’t want to defy a Quidditch captain and the best student in the school.

“Right, so let’s get started, shall we?” was my deduction. Taking this game even further, Potter stepped back and pulled out a chair for me to sit in. No comment on how annoying that was. But he wouldn’t win, certainly not this time when _I_ had thought of this in the first place. I took the seat and let him push it closer to the table.

“Damn you’re getting good at this,” he whispered into my ear.

Losing, I am _losing_ at my own game…

“I’ve always been this good Potter, you’ve just been too much into yourself to realize it,” I snarled.

Winning…

“ _No,_ I’ve been too much into _you_.”

Losing, losing… lost. I sighed, he smirked. What chance did I have? This wasn’t just anyone, it was _Potter_. Surely the mistake was to think I could win in enemy territory. This was his game, not mine. But no matter how much expertise he had in this dimension, I’d beat him to it and revenge was on its way.

“Dumbledore has kindly asked us to organize a sort of _entertainment_ , in other words, a general school party. And we’re counting on you guys to help us make this the greatest thing this school has ever seen,” Potter began. The Prefects had relaxed a bit after that nice little Potter-and-me display.

By the end of it all, we had decided on a couple things:

1) Third years and over (just in case some ignorant second year wanted to pull off some big joke that’d accidentally set something on fire, who knows?)

2) Just before Christmas time (that way those who go home for vacation can also go to the party and it gives us time to get everything ready).

3) Special dress, according to the theme chosen for the occasion, which will be decided later on.

4) No one except the six of us should know from now on. 

“Nice work Lils,” Potter told me as the Prefects exited the library pretty thrilled about being the ones to organize this event, leaving us alone with the dozens of notes we had made together. I gave an exasperated sigh and rolled my eyes as way of response.

“No I’m serious, we got a whole lot done,” he insisted.

“Well… ” I hesitated. Oh what was the point? I didn’t get through with this alone did I? “Couldn’t have done it without you.” My mouth twitched in a half-smile.

“Lily?”

“Yes, Potter?”

It was his turn to roll his eyes. Okay, we _had_ gotten quite a lot done, and that was partly thanks to him.

“James, then.”

“Would you take a walk around the lake with me?” 

The words took me by surprise. He’d been nice… but not _that_ nice. 

“I don’t think so. Sorry,” was my response. I tried to be as warm as possible, but how warm do you get when you reject someone? It was Potter anyway, as in the guy who you had already rejected twenty billion times.

“Would you join me in a tour of the castle of places I’m sure you’ve never seen?” he pursued, a glint of mischief in his eyes. I was tempted, very tempted indeed but kept control.

“Sorry I… I have loads of homework to finish, maybe some other time?”

“You’ve done all your homework for the next month,” he grinned persuasively. 

“That’s not true,” I said defensively.

“Here, I bet you’re starving. How about a stroll to the kitchens?” he suggested.

I _was_ starving. And I wanted to go. And I loved the mischievous look he was giving me, because I wanted that mischief. But I couldn’t, of course I couldn’t.

“I have to study James,” I told him frankly. I could sense the disappointment he was feeling, although you couldn’t have told by looking into his eyes, which was what I had been trying to do without success.

“Right,” he looked away. “I’ll… I’ll see you later then. ”

“ Bye. ”

                                                   ****

Oh, what had I been thinking? Asking her for a walk outside? I had aimed too high. Of course. Why didn’t I just think it over before? Too obsessed with how marvelous she is and how perfect the moment was maybe? Yeah that was it. Yet I was slowly… but securely getting there…


End file.
